clan joke thread

Scyon · Post by **Scyon** » Sat Mar 22, 2003 6:57 am

ROFLMAO!! Druhsk-- that slays me, it really does...

Sassy · Post by **Sassy** » Sat Mar 22, 2003 3:22 pm

Subject: WalMart to do list!!

15 things to do at Wal Mart while your partner is taking his or her own
sweet time

1. Pick up condom packages & randomly put them in people's carts when
they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in house wares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3
in house wares,'...and see what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll
only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't
you people just leave me alone?

9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you
pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he
knows where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme
from 'Mission Impossible'

12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different
size funnels.

13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say 'PICK
ME! PICK ME!!!!!!

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal
position and scream 'NO! It's thosevoices again' and last but not least

15. Go into a fitting room and yell real loud. 'We're out of toilet paper in here!'

Pee-Wee · Post by **Pee-Wee** » Sat Mar 22, 2003 3:32 pm

(Honestly) I am pretty sure that Tynerion can attest to the fact that I have done #11 several times, and will continue to, for as long as I can.

Phade · Post by **Phade** » Sat Mar 22, 2003 3:33 pm

hmm.. I think I drive past that girl everyday on the way to work.. lucky for me my car has bullet proof glass..

<flip off>

Sassy · Post by **Sassy** » Mon Mar 24, 2003 4:15 am

1. How Do You Catch A Unique bird?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch A Tame bird?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit A Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids

7. What Do You Call A Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick.

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quatro Sinko.

11. What Do You Get From A Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross A Snowman With A Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find A Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between A Harley And A Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What's The Difference Between A Bad Golfer And A Bad
Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang! A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

22. How Are A Texas Tornado And A Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

Nyla_Tiarra · Post by **Nyla_Tiarra** » Mon Mar 24, 2003 3:15 pm

ROFL Druhsk !

Flanker · Post by **Flanker** » Mon Mar 24, 2003 7:00 pm

So this deaf guy walk into a bar. He couldnt hear anyone so he assumed it was closed and left

Pyreal Girl · Post by **Pyreal Girl** » Mon Mar 24, 2003 7:04 pm

/e chuckles @ Flanker

PG

Flanker · Post by **Flanker** » Mon Mar 24, 2003 7:05 pm

Sorry best I could do of the top of my head

stumpy wallace · Post by **stumpy wallace** » Mon Mar 24, 2003 7:25 pm

nice 1 sassy

Tynerion · Post by **Tynerion** » Mon Mar 24, 2003 7:47 pm

"It scares the dog"

ROFL too funny.. : )

Compadre · Post by **Compadre** » Mon Mar 24, 2003 8:08 pm

Well, i have this memorized, but I'll just post the pic, it sums it up nicely.

stumpy wallace · Post by **stumpy wallace** » Mon Mar 24, 2003 8:30 pm

i saw that on http://www.cheatindex.com

Druhsk · Post by **Druhsk** » Mon Mar 24, 2003 9:23 pm

The Following link has been rated PG-13 by the Link Clickers Association of America. Viewer Discretion is advised. *

*Curse words ahead, but thats about it

I R Better

stumpy wallace · Post by **stumpy wallace** » Mon Mar 24, 2003 9:41 pm

ROFL ROFL ROFL LMAO LMAO i almost pissed myself on some of those comments druhsk