I have an announcement!

Post by **Panzerfaust** » Mon Oct 16, 2006 10:24 am

Me either -- besides the two the other day.

Sarac · Post by **Sarac** » Tue Oct 17, 2006 3:11 am

i wonder if my LS has moved on, its kind of hard to get over that much romancing

Sarac · Post by **Sarac** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 7:34 pm

no one likes to chat anymore? i dont even think i have the AC software if i wanted to play, and i only have dark majesty anyways

Nash the slash · Post by **Nash the slash** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 8:34 pm

Shsssh you will wake them up

Sarac · Post by **Sarac** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 9:27 pm

A customer enters a pet shop.

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The owner does not respond.)

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?

Owner: What do you mean "miss"?

Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

Owner: We're closin' for lunch.

Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you
show...

(owner hits the cage)

Owner: There, he moved!

Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!

Owner: I never!!

Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!

Owner: I never, never did anything...

Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.

Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?

Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.

Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour
ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the
first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and
VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

Owner: No no! 'E's pining!

Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e
rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

(pause)

Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh,
we're right out of parrots.

Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.

Owner: I got a slug.

(pause)

Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk?

Owner: Nnnnot really.

Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)

Mr. Praline: Well.

(pause)

Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?

Mr. Praline: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.

Sarac · Post by **Sarac** » Fri Oct 20, 2006 5:34 am

what no one likes monty python? it took me forever to copy that from the DVD

Todtstoy · Post by **Todtstoy** » Fri Oct 20, 2006 4:50 pm

That was too cute sarac.. thanks for takin the time to type it out for us

Sarac · Post by **Sarac** » Sat Oct 21, 2006 5:58 am

you're welcome, i kinda had it memorized anyways, i konw the philosophers song by heart if anyone is a montypython fan, come to think of it i might have posted it a long time ago on some thread

Sarac · Post by **Sarac** » Sat Oct 21, 2006 6:05 am

has anyone else died on AC from hitting a tree?

Post by **Panzerfaust** » Sat Oct 21, 2006 6:28 pm

I hit a bush and died.

Sarac · Post by **Sarac** » Tue Oct 24, 2006 1:38 am

i jumped off a cliff and bounced into a tree and died, i did it 4 times to get it like a flip book with screen shots

Sarac · Post by **Sarac** » Tue Oct 24, 2006 11:42 pm

ok i just read through this entire post and realized i have already posted some monty pyhthon stuff on it

Sarac · Post by **Sarac** » Tue Oct 24, 2006 11:42 pm

Sarac · Post by **Sarac** » Tue Oct 24, 2006 11:43 pm

Sarac · Post by **Sarac** » Tue Oct 24, 2006 11:43 pm

Last Dynasty - A Solclaim Community

I have an announcement!

ls

...

wake who up?

...

you are welcome

tree

trees

lol