clan joke thread

kerosene · Post by **kerosene** » Thu Apr 10, 2003 7:57 pm

Stumpy, i just copied it from my email, it that last line that I find the funniest any ways

According to Andersen Consulting World wide, around 90% of the
professionals they tested got all questions wrong. But many
pre-schoolers got several correct answers. Andersen Consulting
says this conclusively disproves the theory that most management
consultants have the brains of a four year old

cuase most Andersen Counsultants that i have run into only have the brains of a four year old.

stumpy wallace · Post by **stumpy wallace** » Thu Apr 10, 2003 8:34 pm

Lo Ki · Post by **Lo Ki** » Thu Apr 10, 2003 10:50 pm

Q. How can you tell if a man is happy?
A. Who cares?

If a man is alone in a forest, is he still wrong?

Neuslayer · Post by **Neuslayer** » Fri Apr 11, 2003 2:44 am

Deep thought of the day:

If Saddam loses a leg but survives, how pissed off will his body doubles
be?????

Sassy · Post by **Sassy** » Fri Apr 11, 2003 3:49 am

Neu....

Phred · Post by **Phred** » Fri Apr 11, 2003 3:59 am

Life is pain, anyone who says differntly is sellign something.

In god we trust, all others pay cash.

and oh yes...kero...that management quiz is by far the stupidest thign I have ever seen for the type of person need for management...wich explaisn why some of the idiots that have been my boss got thier jobs.

here is my managment quiz that I give to people who think they should be a manager or have soem sort of authoriy at my family restaurant...

#1. how often should you wash your hands? (you'ld be surprised how many retaurant works in various places eithe rdotn knwo that answer or they dotn pay atteention to it... ther eis no minimal stantard in the indusrty.. only what is specified by your employer...you shoudl wash your hands every time you risk cross contamination or you touch anythign othe rthan clean cooking utensils...and aside from that abotu every 15-20 mins or so)

#2. c**t this stack of one dollar bills one time through withought stopping. (when I hand them a stack of 237 it takes a complete anal rententicve bastard to get it 100% correct quickly.. if they dont pause at least once I tend to worry about how they are goign to treat the otehr employees if they are givein "controll")

#3. who aside from the customer is always right. (me when it comes to my restaurant)

#4. I work with them at elast once.. kindof jsut sittign abck and watching... if somethign arises that I feel a concernt abotu they fail.....end of story.. I personally dont like haveign to get called in to work just bacuse some bastard decided to piss off half my staff.

stumpy wallace · Post by **stumpy wallace** » Wed Apr 16, 2003 6:30 pm

Druhsk · Post by **Druhsk** » Wed Apr 16, 2003 7:57 pm

Stumpy,

you cannot bump a joke thread without adding a joke.

That being said I present to you:

10 New Cities in Iraq . . .

1. Wherz-Myroof

2. Mykamel-Izded

3. Oshit-Disisabad

4. Waddi-El-Izgowinon

5. Pleez-Ztopdishit

6. Kizz-Yerass-Goodbi

7. Ikantstan-Disnomore

8. Wha-Tafuk-Wazi-Tinkin

9. Myturbin-Izburnin

10. Imma-Dedduck

Sassy · Post by **Sassy** » Wed Apr 16, 2003 8:01 pm

Oh My

stumpy wallace · Post by **stumpy wallace** » Mon Apr 28, 2003 6:30 pm

bump

and since i have to tell a joke according to a certain somone...

why did the chicken cross the road?

to get to the other side

Sassy · Post by **Sassy** » Tue Apr 29, 2003 12:43 pm

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
"Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restrooms at a rest stop but, I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassedly: "Doin Just Fine!"

And the other guy says: "So what are you up too?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say: "Uhhh I'm like you, just traveling east!"

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question.

Can I come over to your place after while?

Ok, this question is just wacky but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation.

I tell him, "Well, I have company over so today is a bad day for me!"

Then I hear the guy say nervously...

"LISTEN, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!"

Magickid2002 · Post by **Magickid2002** » Fri May 02, 2003 6:27 pm

no ofense to any hardcore patriots. But 2 signs on how the US is going down hill

1. The best rapper is white
2. The best golfer is black

GK