Funny Teacher Jokes

Keebler · Post by **Keebler** » Mon Oct 10, 2005 9:22 pm

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
FRANK: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on
the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without us! ing tables.
________________________ __________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I
spell it.
_______________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today
that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than
you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the
alphabet."
_________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down
his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now,
Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say
prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly
the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps
on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

hehe
Keeb

Todtstoy · Post by **Todtstoy** » Mon Oct 10, 2005 9:45 pm

Good ones keeb.. except for the typo

Cymry · Post by **Cymry** » Tue Oct 11, 2005 10:45 am

Sounds like some of my kids!!

Once I was teaching a unit on the 5 senses. On one particular day, I was talking about the sense of smell. I read a book about it, showed the kids the cross-section of the nose in the back of the book, and explained how the sense of smell works. After going through my whole spiel, one child raised his hand and said, "Where do the boogers come from?"

True story!! I could write a book about some of the things they say.

P.S. -- Then we discussed boogers.

Nakamuro Zataki · Post by **Nakamuro Zataki** » Tue Oct 11, 2005 4:31 pm

The last one was the best!

Guy Jean · Post by **Guy Jean** » Wed Oct 12, 2005 2:05 pm

I'll agree with that one Naka